Do you have a question about relationships and flirting?

You can email me about any of your relationship and flirtation questions, and I'll be happy to address them in my blog. Won't that be fun! Its very Dear Abby, but hey...I'm just as good as she is! Just put "Dear Ottis" in the subject. Make sure your letters are annoymous though, to protect you and me. Send all questions to

Friday, December 25, 2009


As was promised: Today is Christmas! Happy Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!

Christmas Eve

Joy to the world, for the Lord is come on this silent night, o holy night, when the stars were brightly shining on Judea's plains where the shepherds of old heard the joyous strains sung by angels we have heard on high. After all, away in a manger in royal David's city stood a lowly cattle shed where the virgin Mary had a baby boy, the virgin Mary had a bay boy, the virgin Mary had a baby boy and she said that his name was Jesus. But, one has to wonder: Mary, did you know that when you kissed your little baby, you kissed the face of God? So everyone, fall on your knees because the first noel that the angels did sing was going on at the same time that with wondering awe the wise men were led by the light of faith serenely beaming from the Orient land. In short, I'm trying to go tell it on the mountain that Jesus Christ is born...tonight!

So, tonight is Christmas Eve. As tradition dictates (and anyone that knows how I feel about tradition, then you'll know that it dictates mucho for me-o) we went to a long-time family friend's house. When we got there we began by having our traditional sub sandwich dinner, or as I like to call them, Hogie sandwiches. I was sitting on one of their oversized chairs in the front room where I saw a little toy. It was one of those Transformer toys from the smash hit movie, Transformers. It took me 30 min. just to figure out how to get the stupid thing to turn into the car. Why are kids toys so hard for me? I'm 25 (MLIA)!!! Anyway, once I was frustrated with that, I went and ate.

Then we began practicing our songs. You see, every year we gather as friends and family and pick several people within our ward/lives that we'd like to go carol to. We bring them treats of goodies and sing to them and try and share some jolly Christmas spirit. We had our four families selected. Usually we sing some traditional Christmas carols that every one knows. This year, we sang some little diddy that one of the kiddies sang in school: "Here comes Santa, here comes Santa, here comes Santa, Santa Clause." Than of course, we sang "We wish you a merry Christmas" as tradition dictates we do (Christmas is so wonderful, so many dictating's almost like you don't have to plan anything!!!).

So, once we were all brushed up on our music we headed on our way. At one of the houses, a family drove by, saw us and decided to stop so that they could listen to those sweet, melodious strains. In the group, there are at least three pretty trained choral singers, and a few others that can carry a tune. You'd think us to be a wonderful ensemble. These joyful strains however are nothing to the belted bellowings of our tone-deaf fathers and the children not blessed with properly functioning ears. As we got back into the rhythm of singing together after a year apart, I began to wonder: Why haven't we had more doors slammed in our faces? Isn't the joy that we're trying to bring to these poor souls actually just agonizing to their ears? Sarah put it best as we got into our cars after the final house: "Lee, you know if you ever try for the Tabernacle Choir, this will be a huge check against you!" Truer words have ne'er been uttered on this sacred day since the Holy Family was in that little stable and the angels sang Glory to God in the highest!

After our caroling conundrum we headed back. There we did our (once again) traditional reading of Luke 2 and our traditional singing of Silent Night (for, it is the only Christmas hymn I can play on the piano). Then, when we got home, I got to watch White Christmas for my first time ever. What a joy it was. Now we have to get ready for tomorrow: presents, big breakfast, big lunch, missionaries, Sister Spindler calls, movie, Amory skypes, big dinner. Such a relentless day but...Such is life!

Thursday, December 24, 2009


For those of you not is Christmas Eve Day! Therefore, one can deduce that tomorrow is Christmas day... For those unable to make such a mental progression, I will notify you tomorrow when it is Christmas.

Such is Life

This week I was boasting to my family about my web-book. Its one year old, and working great. Thank goodness for Acer. As I opened it up to show all that it can do to my dad and brother it crashed. It hasn't been able to start since. It goes through a vicious restart cycle. Oh, and there is no system restore that I can access...since there is no DVD drive...Such is life.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Dear Ottis,

I've just recently split from my boyfriend of 10 months. While there are no hard feelings and we broke up for mutual reasons, I am still very much heartbroken. We would like to continue to be friends but I'm not sure where to draw the line between just friendly hanging-out and people starting to talk behind my back like-- what the heck is she doing? Yknow what I mean?

And then in the midst of all this, how do I pick up flirting again? Personally I'm not crazy about dating people right now but I know that it is probably essential to help me move on... but I can't remember how to flirt! I've got a very strong, opinionated, loud personality and so I've had guys tell me before that I'm intimidating to ask out on dates... this one guy once told me that I come across as a maneater.

Obviously I am in need of some serious help/advice.
Jordan Renee

Dear Jordan Renee,

Thank you very much for you letter. I've spent some time reflecting on it, and I hope that I'll be able to offer some help/advice for you. Let me first begin by saying how sorry I am that you are hurting. Breaking up with someone after a long relationship, no matter how mutual it may have been, is always hard, heart-wrentching and painful. I wish you the best of luck as you move on in your romatic life.

Let me begin by addressing your current situation with you and your ex. Becoming friends after breaking up is one of the most challenging inter-relational challenges there are, in my opinion. The difficulty lies in effectively redefining the relationship between not only the two of you, but also for you in the various circles of friends that you both have. Let me offer a few points of advice on this. One thing of utmost importance is re-establishing rules and boundaries. You've spent ten months being more that friends. Redefining normalacy in friendship can be very hard, but is incredibly necissary. One tactic to help with this is limiting the time you spend together. This helps each of you to move on emotionally. It also helps limit the inevitable "talking behind [your] back" to which you referenced in your letter. The other important thing to do to continue your new friendship is to date other people.

I realize that dating again after a breakup seems daunting. The idea of being close to another guy unfathomable. Believe me, its gonna happen. Go ahead and get your flirt on. Flirting is a natural, subconscious, necissary part of our everyday lives. It really is just playful interatactions between members of the opposite sex, with the intimation of interest. So, go ahead, have fun and be playful, go and date. The more you date, the easier it'll be for you to reconnect with men, and the sooner you'll be able to see yourself getting interested in guys again. And hey, you get free food, movies, ice creat etc out of, what could be better? :)

Regarding your maneater status. I have varied thoughts on the matter. The first thing I'd like to tell you, as that no matter how outspoken, loud, opinionated and crazy you may be...there is a guy out there that can handle it. Not only that, they'll enjoy it every step of the way. Why I don't deny that many men are attracted to a certain submissive attitude, there are many that are not. Confident is always attactive, so take pride in who you are, and don't change for anyone. I heartily believe that the only reasons people should change themselves is for personal growth and intimit spiritual progression. Otherwise, God created you to be happy in who you are. So, embrace that.

Well, this letter has turned into me rambling on. I hope that some of the thoughts that I shared will offer some insight and help in the romantic future that is to come for you. Remember, the right guy is still out there and looking for you. Just live your life with no regrets, and in a manner where you can be worthy of his companionship (and we'll pray he is doing the same). I wish you all the best. Feel free to write back for more advice or for clarifiaction on what I've written here.


Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Various Lee-isms

"He didn't kill animals as a child, but..."
-Lee, speaking of sociopathy

"Because you don't have the linguistical prowless that I have, miss English Major!"
-Lee, speaking to Sydney

"I can't hear must be my headphones."
-Lee, in response to an inquiry by Sydney

"I don't believe in being in videos, I believe they steal your soul"
-Lee, in response to a request to be in a video

"You laugh...and yet its true!"
-Lee, in response to laughing

"I enjoy knowing that people are ferociously attracted to others. Life should be like that."
-Lee, from a conversation with Chuck

Down with The Man!

My brothers and sisters, today I would like to speak to you about one of the great injustices of the world! Indeed, a display of the tyrannical power of The Man over the little people of this earth! My brothers and sisters, I'm going to tell you a tale of encroachment, maltreatment, debasement, and just good, old-fashioned wrongdoing. Now, don't be misled. I'm not speaking of the evils of the past. I'm not speaking of slavery, persecution, concentration camps, or prejudice. Indeed, one could say that this dwarfs those other issues! I am speaking of the fact that I am going to be getting a C in my cooking class! Allow me to explain.

As many of you know, this has been a semester plagued with illness. I've had H1N1, bronchiolitis, pneumonia, laryngitis, and many weeks of the aftermath. This, inevitably, has caused me to miss several days -- indeed weeks -- of class. I even have a doctor's notice asking teachers to allow me to make up what was missed and excusing me from several class periods. For the most part, my teachers have bent over backward to help me catch up. They've excused late assignments, dropped quizzes, and made every effort to help me catch up. To them I am most eternally grateful for their help, generosity, and patience.

There is one class however that has been enormously less helpful: Food Preparation in the Home 1. Now, as someone that is known for being rather savvy in a kitchen -- indeed, someone who knows their way around cooking -- this could be considered one of the great abominations. I'm sure some of these question might enter your mind: How could you possibly get a C in such a simple class? I mean, was it the boiling water class? Or maybe the How to cut Dough with a
Pastry Cutter Lab? Perhaps it was the incredibly challenging task of peeling potatoes that did you in. It must have at least been the cleaning checks that caused such a commotion?

To all your questions, I say no. It was no such thing. Rather, it was because I wasn't allowed to make-up the classes that I missed due to illness. Of all the things. No doctor's notice, no pleading, no explaining was enough to soften the cruel, cold hearts of these people. Their extreme jealousy of my very apparent culinary talents caused them to encroach upon my rights to make up work as an ill student. This maltreatment was simply a form of debasement used for, like I said, good old-fashioned wrongdoing. Well, my brothers and sisters, am I going to allow it? Am I going to sit idly by as they try to destroy me? Will I allow The Man to treat me in a less than decent manner? Am I going to to take my grade and cower at their delusions of grandeur? Let me tell you, brothers and sisters, I...basically am...yes sir. There ain't a whole lot I can do about it, besides email the teacher with my displeasure, which I've done. But, other than that, I basically am just gonna have to take what they give me. Sad day, I know. But, it's times like this that a good, standard Lee-ism comes to mind: Such is life!

Monday, December 7, 2009


As many of you know, one of the greatest joys in my life is listening to Anjelah Johnson do her stand up. Especially when she does her Bon Qui Qui. Well, thanks to a few friends, we have found the real thing (or, the rill dill, if you're from Utah). This clip made me laugh so hard. Hope y'all enjoy it! Peace and Blessings, peace and blessings!