Do you have a question about relationships and flirting?

You can email me about any of your relationship and flirtation questions, and I'll be happy to address them in my blog. Won't that be fun! Its very Dear Abby, but hey...I'm just as good as she is! Just put "Dear Ottis" in the subject. Make sure your letters are annoymous though, to protect you and me. Send all questions to

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Summer of Firsts: The Bobopsy.

"Now, you are family. Okay. All my life, I had a lump at the back of my neck, right here. Always a lump. Then I started the menopause and the lump got bigger from the hormonees.  It started to grow. So I go to the doctor, and he did the bio...the b...the bios...the b..the bobopsy.  Inside the lump he found teeth and a spinal cord.  Yes. Inside the lump was my twin"
~Aunt Voula - My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Last week I got to go home and have a great camp out and spend some quality time with my family.  Whilst vacationing I learned that my grandfather was dealing with another round of skin cancer.  Now we are a very fair-skinned people in my family. We're also a sunscreen wearing people.  But, we do like the sun, and we like to be out on a lake.  Anyway, I recently found three moles on my back, and my mom decided I need to go have them checked.  So, to the BYU Health Center I went.

My first meeting was with a PA.  He didn't think I had much to be worried about.  Truth be told though, I felt like my meeting with him was worthless.  He didn't really know much.  And when I asked him questions about what to look for, he didn't really have answers.  In fact, he didn't have many answers at all...haha.  Silly man.

So, after my appointment with him, I went to the nurses' station, and they set up another appointment with a real doctor.  After sitting in the waiting room for a while my dear friend Alicia showed up, and we chatted and had a grand old time.  Then I got called back into a procedure room.  The doctor laid me down on my stomach on the operating table and did his little examination.

After examining my back, he decided it would be very necessary to remove the moles and test them.  So he pulled out a needle and stabbed me thrice--right in the back.  Then the nurse handed him two 2 scalpels.  He stabbed them into me, cutting my flesh, slowly cutting away my skin. I could feel the blood dripping down the side of my back.  He'd rush for the gauze to catch what he could, but the feel...oh the feel.

After the first one, he started on the second.  Once again cutting into me.  I clutched the pillow I was given.  Was it for comfort? Was it for my own emotional comfort? I'm not sure.  But, I clung to it nonetheless.  I looked at the nurse trying to make idle prattle.  She had the test dishes ready.  I could see them put the small pieces of my skin into the liquids.

After doing all three, he stood up and left.  "The nurse will clean you up" he muttered as he exited the building.  The nurse, taking the doctors cue, came and began cleaning up my bloodied back.  She then bandaged me up, and gave me my skin samples and told me to take them to the lab.  So, I did.  I walked them over, and was told I would have the results in 10 days.  So now, I wait.  I wait to find out my future.  Will I some day walk wearing a ribbon as a cancer survivor?  Time will tell... but Such Is Life.

So, the question is this:  do I post the pictures on here... or don't I?

The biopsy came back as banine, so I'm cancer free... yet again!


  1. Hahah... the bibopsy! Did those shots hurt really bad? Cause I feel like they would.

  2. Holy cow?! No local anesthesia? Come on! quote from MBFGW...ever. (fav movie, too)